


Chat Room Trauma

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-07 01:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10349352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: SPOILERS: Very small reference to COTGSUMMARY: What would happen if Teal’c went into a chat room?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Chat Room Trauma

##  Chat Room Trauma

##### Written by Mark Towler   
Comments? Write to us at [towler_mark54@hotmail.com](mailto:towler_mark54@hotmail.com)

  * SPOILERS: Very small reference to COTG 
  * SUMMARY: What would happen if Teal'c went into a chat room? 
  * RATING: G [Hu] 



* * *

“Hi a/s/l?” asked a curious chat user

“ I do not understand your query,” answered Teal’c, who decided to see what the Internet was about as part of his research into humanity.

“A/S/L means Age, Sex/Gender and where you live, your location” replied the user

“I am not permitted to discard that sort of information,” replied Teal’c

“Wot?” replied the user

“What do you mean? Wot?” asked Teal’c

“It means What.How come ur typin’ slow?” asked the chat user

“I do not understand to use this, keyboard, it is most difficult, and in the future you should learn to spell correctly, it could be beneficial in the future.” Teal’c replied, not understanding the short-hand terms used in Internet chat rooms

“OK, I will then.So, where are you from?” asked the user

“I am also not permitted to discard that information,” Teal’c replied, still not realising that he can lie about where he lives

“Where are you now?” asked the user

“I am also not permitted to discard that information,” Teal’c startedMay I ask what your name ‘sexgoddess’ is about?”

“It’s saying what I am” replied sexgoddess

“So you are not human? You are posing as a false God and having slaves to do your bidding” Teal’c said with a cold hatred, remembering about his 90 or so years of being a slave to a false god

“No, I am human, but, nevermind, it seems you don’t understand,” replied sexgoddess

“You behave strangely compared to other humans I have previously met” replied Teal’c

“OK……I’m going now, bye” replied sexgoddess

“Where are you going?” asked Teal’c, curious to find out

“Away from you” she replied.Suddenly it said “sexgoddess has left the chat room”

Teal’c tilted his head and also exited the chat room

***

“O’Neill,” Teal’c started, “I ‘surfed’ the internet as you instructed me to, to learn about your culture, but it was most disturbing.There is a sex goddess, a human, posing as a god so Human’s will follow”

“I guess it’s just a name, Teal’c, nothing about Goa’ulds or serving a false God is implied, at least, I hope not” O’Neill answered

“I see” Teal’c nodded.

“Hey Teal’c, how was ‘surfin’ the Internet?” Carter suddenly appeared into O’Neill’s office

“It was most disturbing Major Carter, there was this person…” Teal’c started

“Whoah, stop Teal’c, I’ll tell her later, now if you mind, I want to do a report, my office isn’t a meeting place you know, that’s what Hammonds office is for” O’Neill burst out.

“OK, ah well, bye sir.” Carter said and walked out, Teal’c followed.

“So Teal’c tell me about this person.” Carter enquired

“I believe she was female, but she did not know how to spell correctly…” Teal’c started off.

**The End**

  


* * *

  


> I hope you found this short story amusing, imagine meeting someone like Teal’c in a chat room. Also I’d like to thank the other authors who made Teal’c stories up, otherwise, I’d probably never of done it.  
> 

* * *

>   
> © March 2002 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.   
> 

* * *

  



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